Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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