Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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