Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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