We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
