did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Houston, we have a squirter
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
