I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
