Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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