i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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