I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
