I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
