Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
