I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
