I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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