Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
