this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
