I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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