there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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