I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
