Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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