Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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