Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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