His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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