You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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