You're my little dorito
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
