I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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