i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
