im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
40s are totally the cure
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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