We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
