From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
