But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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