Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
