if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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