PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
