I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
