His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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