someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
