How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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