this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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