I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
