how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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