dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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