he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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