"it" just moved
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
