So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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