What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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