yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
