xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
