Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
