I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
