kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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