Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
