Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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