Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well I just put wine in my tea
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
