Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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