Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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