So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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