How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
