He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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