my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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