ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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