I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
