HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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