By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
