sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
