FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
