The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
