Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
