he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
