I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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