It's like God shit irony all over that family
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
