I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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