Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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