I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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