So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
